.. analytical ..

Someone told me ... and it really hits me on the eyes! *oucch*

"I don't know why you put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our parents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what everything we heard and we've known really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying"

Am I to afraid to those failure, rejection and expectation that I've been made for myself? Is it because I'm to scared with my own feeling?

Maybe I just like the pain. Maybe I'm wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe I just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop... *sigh*