.. un-told ..

"why can you trust people?"

i have my reason why i don't trust people, i know i might have some kind of standard that most people might not get it. well, i have my own way to judge people's performance.

i'm not saying i'm that good thou ... but, every time i give trust to people everything seems falls apart. and at the end i'm the one who has to sort things out and clean up the mess. is not that i don't like to clean all the mess thou ... but, the worst things is that people rely on me too much and it is not good for me ..

yea for me .. i'm trying to be selfish here. is not that i'm not enjoying when people look for me and i turn down their phone or their text or even their bbm and whatsapp thou .. but limitation is all i got i have my own limit for everything .. i'm not that patience to go through all pressure

i can be quite sometime, but most of the time i can get on my nerve easily .. this lips might say something that is not nice ... i don't mean harsh word but more in to sarcastic statement. because what i'm expecting is that people are born with their skills, their brain and their will to learn .. don't they??

.. News ..

Heard many good news this couple of weeks... Happy for them blessed to be part of their good bless.
Those news came with no prediction, with no warn, no 30 days notice. It just came ... Unexpected!

The miracles does happens... Well, not exactly miracle i may say, its more to be un-plan things in our lives, no matter what we need to be prepare for everything. Just like when i accidently knew someone called me with 'OVERRATED' on their subject.. Shocked! Of course ... I even talked to myself what is overrated ? Does this person ever know how i take care every tasks? And when time passed, i realize that person who said i'm overrated is not even better than me.

That's what i called un-planned, i wasn't supposed to know that this person talked about me behind my back right? This person even talked about my performane in front of many people who don't even know how i deal with my tasks, well i may say its going to make my performance in a deep sh*t ... But, again i get used to be celebrity where people talked about me behind my back.

Plan the un-plan things, thats what my dad always told me. In life we must prepare for everything. Reality bites ... It does!  Everybody will eventually against us no matter how good are we to people. Evil side of human can never be predict ... Once evil will always be an evil, because they always see a dark side of people, they never see any good in any body except themselve. 

Don't trust with the smile and the words that even come from this kind of person!

.. changes ..

having a good sleep for this past weeks is really brings me those moments. clear mind, clear thought and of course clear out the bad mood ... I'd always love to have a good sleep ... (*who doesn't)

now i realize, i often ignored some moments. i tried to ignore those signs those clues .. forcing myself just go with flow .. like the road signs, it surely will lead me to somewhere.

"life's all about moments, of impact and how they changes our lives forever. but, what if one day i could no longer remember any of them?"

well, honestly i love to remember everything that ever happened in my life. i love my life, and most of it i love being me! 

"the moment of impact. the moment of impact proves potential for change. has ripples effects fay beyond what we can predict. sending some particles crashing together. making them closer than before. while sending others spinning off into great ventures. landing them where you've never thought you've found them. that's the thing about moments like these. you can't, no matter how hard you try, controlling how it's gonna affect you. you just gotta let the colliding part goes where they may. and wait. for the next collision -- The Vow

.. how do you know ..

talking to myself  "i don't know if I have what it takes for everybody's regular plan" even though, i know we are all just one small adjustment away from making our lives work.

but somehow, most of people who keep talking about others can not be trust! they can change their words in a sec, this minutes they say this about that person, in another second they can say different things about different people ... *grasp*

I wish those people could delete everything they said as soon as they said it, because lately all i hear is people keep hiding their weaknesses and they keep whiny and needy ... perhaps they even wish they could delete everything that came up from their mouth.
Well, i guess the answer to that is STOP TALKING! deny any voices to what's falling apart. Because, for any words that came out from that mouth will surely come back to ourselves

Oh, well perhaps I don't have to understand, all i need to have is faith .. faith in myself!
i believe the signs of no sign it's a sign itself ...

.. foot print ..

I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time, I know there was something, and that something that I left behind.for sure, I will leave with no regret!
I've done, everything that I wanted and it was more that I thought it would be .. so I will leave my mark so everyone will know .. I was here!
I lived each day, and I know that I meant something in somebody's life ... it will be on the proof that I leave, I made a difference (i guess?) and they will see. -- (I was Here -- Beyonce)
In those heart ache, the disappointment the argument, the guessing ... buried away  deep inside the mind of mine! Never care that much what others might say or think. From my perspective, those people are not even better than mine ...
I'm who I am .. I live with everything I trust and what I believe .. I ain't looking for any hidden opportunity and I'm not an opportunist one ...
I don't have any ambition to hurt anyone, or even worst stabbing anyone who came into my way. I'm a person with a sincere mind. I will say "I hate it!" when I hate seeing or hearing something I don't like, I even showing it from my expression... Trust me my expression won't lie!

.. alive ..

I let you know some news, which makes you happy. 

All women are actresses, they pretend to be vulnerable, but indeed very tough. Nevertheless, they still want to be protected.

I had days I almost gave in depressions, the tears I shed are my freedom.

Your moping only makes your enemies pleased. Both men and women have to be tough.
You can't buy it, you can't see it. It is mental toughness.

People expect much of me, and too much pressure on me, but there is no other way except by doing what I need to. 

When i feel bad, i just take a deep breath, the tears I keep back are a part of me. I hate to lose, I will be active a gong to signal the start of a fight rings tonight. 

Let's see what I'm capable off.

.. un-spoken ..

"I miss you, not as my special someone not even as my friend; I miss the person who you were when we first met."

.. coming out ..

"Everything happens for the best. You'll never know if you don't try"

different point of view

Been experiencing many un-expected journey this few weeks. i'm not saying it's an adventure but surely it give me more attitude how to be bless with everything. As mentioned above "everything happens for the best" indeed reflect to me. Despite any harmful and hurtful incident that i'm aware off.

oh well, i never care so much about doubtful thought from people about me. What ever they say i have nothing against them .. let them be with their words. Their words against mine ... just giving them my attitude to know where to should i stand, that's what i called "happens for the best" i must have an attitude and i must be "unique" so people would aware i'm nothing like others. BEING ME IS WHAT MAKES ME UNIQUE :)

"show them where you stand!" that statement is surely developed a strong characters in me. if i'm not standing anywhere is not that i don't choose anything, i'm just making my own choice without following anyone, that's what i called "where do i stand".


so many people i've seen and i've known they're looking for something to stand. I mean they tried their hardest effort to be "seen". They've even becoming someone that they don't know, who they are because they are willing to be follower who will follow anything that could make them "someone'

so lame!

.. uncertain ..

It's been awhile ... again, i learn a lot from what i see, what i hear and what i said.
there's so many un-certainty for this life. now a days i see many person tried to be opportunist, and using the "situation" as their own defense. it's a shame .. (i guess) but well again people are born with different characteristic .. even myself is not perfect, so who am i expecting people to be perfect in front of me.

but, it won't do any harm if i judge other people characteristic which in my point of view is "annoying" .. i mean annoying for me .. never thought about others thou ...

some people have tendency to be so flexible .. a minute they acted like A then another second they can acted the other way around .. WHAT?! how can they be like that?? i'm amaze ... i don't how can i describe this kind of person.

Or, maybe they decided to "leave" then they realize is wrong they withdraw the decision .. and now they still want to be part of the group that they wanted to leave?? eehhmm is it because they don't have any "place" where people could accept them? or just simply they want the "group" to be flexible for them?

i even don't know how to put it in a word for this situation .. so many description on my head for this!

.. Status ..

Another word for this week, is CASTE which define a social class separated from others by distinctions of hereditary rank, profession, or wealth. Some people might enjoy their statu when they have the best position. Some people even have the un-appreciate attitude toward the un-furtonate people.

Honestly i can be so un-friendly with the person who has lower status than me if they act as if they have the same caste as mine. It surely bluntly there over my expression and my voice of tone. But, i will have good respect over people who humblely shown their caste subtlely. Not so many people might do that. It seems most of people are competing to be seen as 'fortunate' one. They bluff all the time, they have that snobbish attitude as if they were born that way.

For me, the caste can't fool anyone. Actually it's in their blood, they way you behave, talk, even say thing and of course the attitude. Even if you own a branded bag worth millions rupiah, it mean nothing if you have such an attitude like 'sh*t'...its show that you're in either caste at all. I feel sorry for people whose in the lower caste, for sure... but, i keep wondering what do they have in mind, what do they feel? How can they survive with their financial limitation? Are they happy? I bet those people will feel so much grateful instead of people whose dying to be 'seen' as the upper caste. I can guarantee that for sure!!!

.. Urge ..

Fourth word in this year, Urge=very strong desire.

I might not define it in correct way, i've got my own way to define any words in my own way :)
Why i came up with this word, because i feel this word is often used every time i will go travel or going to some places.

'can you buy .....' or 'can i order ...' it might sound like 'is it ok if you look for...' geez... I've been mentioned i hate when people giving me an order, and now people asking for a favor without giving me any option how to pay? Is not that i don't want to buy things for people; i love buying things for people, but i hate when people asking for it. And giving their preference ... If you're important to me i surely will buy you something .. Just don't ask, don't be demanding.

Unless you have something i want i would be fine, but if not don't expect i would give a sh*t about any less of you!!

.. Left over ..

leftover [ˈlɛftˌəʊvə] n
an unused portion or remnant.

Most of people will throw them away, because they don't want to eat the left over. Consideration is the taste and the appearance of it will not be as stunning as the first time.
If you asked me what will i do with my left over, well i will eat them i will put it on the microwave to heat it up and eat it while its still hot. Perhaps it taste not so good but well i fell blessed i still can taste it though.

X: What do you do with the flowers?
Y: You know the ones that nobody wants?
X: So you're giving them a second life?
Y: Yeah, most chaps throw them away. I like the idea that tomorrow somebody's going to see them floating by, wonder where they come from, behind the mystery of it all. I used to, actually, put them together and practice new designs with them and drop them off at a random doorstep with notes in it: "Somebody out there loves you". And they get to thinking, "What if they found out that somebody me? Would they want me to be the one that loves them?"
X: I would... want that.
-- Valentine's day --

.. giveaway ..

another word i'm aware for this year, a gift which we all aware the definition of this word. tr.v. gift·ed, gift·ing, gifts : to present (something) as a gift to (a person). honestly, i love the activity of searching or looking a gift for someone especially for my friend. i never find any difficulties for this. it seems that i can read people's mind of what they want and what they really need. i may say it's my "gift". only few people or i may say not so many people knows me that well. i usually hate the concept of present for myself. i prefer to give myself my own giveaway on my "day". most of people (i mean even the close one) they don't really know what i want, what i need. so they just give me a present that sometimes beyond what i expected.

is not that i hate their presents, but the presents should represent our character right? what we like? what we need? isn't supposed to be like that? 10 years ago, i've got this Easter bunny present for my birthday. in my mind, i'm wondering this person knows i don't celebrate Easter (even though it's close to Easter) and i'm not christian as well. since, that easter bunny chocolate came from some one "special" i'm thankful, at least he had an effort to look for something on my birthday. :)

then two years ago, and last year (if i'm not mistaken) i got a girly cardigan, well everyone can guess i would never wear that things, even on my formal occasions. it's just not me, and many more gift that become a waste for me. it's not that i hate the present, i appreciate their thoughts and i appreciate their effort.

but, if they keep giving me the things which is not "me" i won't even care to wear it or putting it in somewhere that i could see. it definitely will goes to my drawer and become my un-seen collection. that's why i always knows what people need, what people want and understand people's character for their gift. i'm enjoying the moment people wear and used what i gave to them, it feels blessed to know "see i know what they want!" my tips, if you want to but a gift for people please start to consider what they like, what is their character and more importantly what they need. happy browsing for a gift people!!

.. reaching the edge ..

"every new day is another chance to be a better person than you were the day before"

what a perfect day to begin, new age, new day, new beginning and yet new habit! there will be no stamp on my passport for today like what i used to do before ... it's like yearly traveling moment during this day. i have almost every year stamp for today date!

like people said, there's always a first time for everything right?
it takes forever to be young though, but it like one day to be grow up! i wish i could be mature enough and grow up for the rest of my life!

if you asked me what do i wish for this year .. well do i need to mention it? still the same wish from the last year thou .. :). i'm not rushing it, i believe if it meant to happen it will happen.

have a blast for myself, taking notes for myself, lesson learned and i will be more wise (hopefully)

Thank you to all family, friends and colleagues.

“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” -- Lucille Ball

.. opportunist ..

another word i learn this year, (n) opportunist - a person who places expediency above principle or it can be (adj) opportunist - taking immediate advantage, often unethically, of any circumstance of possible benefit.

for me this word is not giving any positive impact or attitude for anyone.this opportunist who profits from misfortunes of others, i'm avoiding meeting this kind of person. most of opportunist person will have two faces (in other word we can say poker face i guess).

most of them are selfish, they only think about themselves. what can please me that's what i'm aiming for .. guess that's their motto thou. they talked what they want to talk, they say what they want to say just to please their service, just to please their possible benefit.

they can be nice until they got what they want, but they can be very annoying if they feel in-secure about their position, we can't guarantee if their word is true of at the end their words can be a back fire.

i really really avoiding this kind of person.

.. leap year ..

“when life surprises you, don’t be afraid to take a leap of faith.”

When my 60 seconds came around i realized i had everything i ever wanted… but nothing i really needed. and i think what i need was some where there. and i came all the way to see if he maybe think so too. If he does, well… i don’t really have plans past that, which is new for me (of course it take me years to do so). So, i should probably learn his middle name (if he has any), i will tell him my proposal; i propose we not make plans, i propose we give this thing a chance and let it work out how it works out. so what do you say, do you wanna not make plans with me?

(i just love living without any plans)

.. run ..

i'm scared that i will start believing a little less, then little less and little less... and suddenly i lose it all. it SUCK!

what am i supposed to do with it? start to believing again? believing in CHEMISTRY?
to have the chemistry i need TIMING isn't it?

but, TIMING is a bitch!

.. request ..

\bi-ˈhest, bē-\ (behest) this is the 3rd words that i aware for this year.
the definition of it: an authoritative order : command (in-formal), but in formal definition it is being asked or ordered by someone.

for some people, this word will have a negative impact. honestly i found this word very demanding, because it is very easy (yes i underline the word VERY EASY) to give an order to person, and let people do the rest.

"please spare a sit for me" or "would you please booked ...." or maybe "write this for me..." perhaps it might sound "can you check..." GOSH!! at first i found the word "please" is very polite and full of respect, because people used it to ask a favor from others.

but now, i found it the word "please" has lost it's meaning! i'm the kind of person who doesn't take any order from anyone, except my parents and my siblings (of course include my nieces and nephews). because sometime people whose giving an order doesn't even "think" or even aware the request or the tasks!

so, the behest is for the sake giving away the tasks that has been assigned to that one person by giving it to another person to handle and finish! what a lame! and i really hate that kind of person. in my understanding, that kind of person is un-responsible (i might define it with a harsh word thou).

i'm wishing i wouldn't be that kind of person, if i have some tasks i will try my best to finish it, and not hand that tasks to other people to finish it and claim it! *knock on wood*

i may not be smart, but at least i have my pride over my brain and my thinking!

.. Chronicles ..

Second word that i learn in this year, is 'power' ...
After watching a movie, i just realize it will be a disaster if you have the 'power' with rage in you.

We'll not using the power in right way, instead we will use it to fulfill our rage. To take a revenge, to see and enjoy where lots of people suffering and hurt because of the power that we have. The statement that (maybe) suit with the situation if we get the power is 'the power is in my hand, i can do whatever i want with it!'

I'm so grateful i never get that kind of power to make other people suffer or hurt. God is always been good to me, to what i did, my action even my statement. So grateful and so bless.

I have my hate and of course i feel rage too. Sometimes i wish i could do some revenge to people who hurt me, but then again God always remind me something good. No need for rage to take conrol the hate inside of me, no need to do any revenge. So ... Let's leave it to the faith and karma.

If i have the power, i will have my own rules over it!

.. ambition ..

word that i learn for this month, AMBITION .. try to look after this word and a definition of it.

ambitious: describe a person who wishes to rise above one present position or condition. the ambitious person wishes to attain worldly success, and puts forth effort toward this end.

the other definition for ambitious for social position, where this one person especially in wealth, can be characterized by energy and daring in undertaking projects, where the aspiring person wishes to rise to higher level or plane, or to attain some end above ordinary expectations.

well, i may say perhaps for some ambitious people they tend to do anything to get what they want. perhaps, some of them may not consider hurting others or ignoring the needs of others.

honestly, i still don't get the idea of being "ambitious", chasing after what we want and what we eagerly aim for. until today, i'm still browse the definition of "ambition" itself. does it has any positive impact if we sacrificing the good relationship between others? i mean does it has to be that "nasty" to get what we want?

Corruption, collision, nepotism, etc are part of the ambition process right? most of people will take a short cut to define the "ambition", the word "ambitious" itself is referring to singular right? it can't be an "ambitious" for a team, a group or community because there's always be this ONE WINNER for this "ambition" thing.

may God bless all the "ambitious" people and have other people suffer from it's ambition.

.. gap ..

I’m not ready yet!

“are you here?”

(A Gifted Man - Michael Holt calling Anna Paul spirit’s)

.. reference ..

referring or reference ... i'm not quite comfortable with that word to be honest. is like when we tried to match making someone to someone.

today, i met a person who got reference about me, well i feel honored and flattered. i should be, because somebody talked good things about me, about what i do well they're talking about what can i do best. i'm quite amaze, because even myself always doubt what i can do. honestly, i have a lack of confidence over myself.

we talked, politely i told this person what i have in mind right now and what are my goal, and my ambition. this person seemed very nice, even though she kept trying to convince me that i have the ability and characters that she's been looking for the team. politely and subtlety i said, right now my goal is not looking for any "financial" increment or better position. i love what i'm doing, i love being in this position and still comfortable in where i am right now.

i told her, i may not as good as what she thought. i don't think i will fit with the team, i still lack of knowledge and experiences. i'm afraid i may not meet her expectation. she responded "do you know what are my expectation?" and i told her "that's the exactly my point, since i don't know what are your expectation, i don't think i can manage that. i ain't psychic that could read other's mind."

"you are what we've been looking for" at that second she said it, i'm thinking and talked to myself "well, i don't think that you are that i've been looking for right now though."

is like match making right? we tried to fine someone perfect for somebody, we want someone perfect for our friends, for our buddy, for our cousins, etc. we refer them to some guys or women that we think may fit with them. we gave good background, good impression, etc so people will attract and get connected right?

but,

do we ever thought people have different preference toward their life, their goal and their will. we can't dictate someone "decision" over something right? for sure God give some ways, but decision is still ours isn't it?

i have my own reason why i never give any reference to people, even for match making. if i did (yea there's couples of friends that had been successfully married and their happy because of me) it was coincidence and i never planned it thou. that's what i called "faith".

i'm a bit burned every time people refer me to some body else. i have my own definition about myself, what i want and my goal.

i'm flattered, i'm very blessed, and i'm so thankful for all the good things that people talked about me. but, i have my own perspective about myself and may capability, i do know what i want in life and what do i want to achieve.

Last word ... after the discussion with the person i met today;
"it's been a pleasure meeting you, hope we can maintain the network between us for the future, mam!"

*i've got my free lunch, and a new network, i'm so lucky :)

.. no call, no text, leave him alone ..

Your texts are being read, your missed calls are being viewed, your emails are getting sent to spam, and your Facebook messages are being ignored. They are not disappearing in a cyber black hole -- got the point!

*Whatever you do, keep your dignity. Make the extra effort NOW by not looking like a fool and reap the benefits later

story i heard from one of my friend, she's been attached with this guy for more than 4 months or so ... for her it feel like they're dating and the guy has the same feeling. as for me, since I've been heard the story only from this girl so i conclude that this guy is a jerk! well, if i may say this guy is taking an advantage of her. the way he treat this girl, is not like the way a gentlemen who has crush over girl. how can you say it's a date if you pay with separate bill?? and how can he's letting her waiting for him for more than an hour or more (perhaps!) it's obvious he really know that she's in to him!

what can i say to my friend (well, actually lesson learned for me as well.. indirectly) that "you're great.. but he's not interested!" ..

This one is perhaps one of the most relatable: you gather up the balls to express your undying devotion – or mere attraction- to this person only to get rejected with the standard, “Oh you’re sweet… but i can't get into commitment at this moment, all the career stuff and my family matter ...” Or worst, “But i don't want to hurt you, is like everything i do i will end up hurting you…” What sets you apart from the rest of the world is that you don’t just walk away in defeat and go for your next potential obsession; you wallow in misery and refuse to accept rejection. and this woman is allowing this guy to keep rejecting her with different words.

i'm hoping that i will not be in that position, and desperately looking for someone! i will be flattered if someone i liked add me on their FB or their BBM list or asking about my phone. but, what i have in mind is that if that guy is not giving any effort to call me on cell-phone or asking about my number... why bother? if he wants to call me, no matter what he will! i mean, come on guy is simple right?

if he likes you, he will do anything to make the girl realize he's into her isn't it? am i right?

"When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life."

.. a reason ..

I’ve been walked on, used and forgotten and i don’t regret one moment of it because in those moments, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned who i can trust and can’t. I’ve learned the meaning of friendship. I’ve learned how to tell when people are lying and when they’re sincere. I’ve learned how to be a teenager, and how to grow up when i need to. I’ve been to hell and back a few times, and i won’t ever take what i have for granted. this is life, live it one day at a time. you never know how many days you’ve got left.

(un-known)

.. textuality ..

watched this movie with friends, some of them were in the melancholic feeling at that moment.while for me, well i'm in the process becoming "a better person" ..

in this movie, we would see many people loose their willingness to respect "real people" in front of them. they prefer to get "attached" with "un-real" people. for them smartphone is their life, their soulmate, it seems that they can't even breathe without their smartphone. the existence is no longer important, as long as the other people response to the device. jeezz ...

from this movie as well, i concluded that men or guy with smart phones can not be trusted *LOL* especially when they can't get their eyes of it! every time they heard something beeping or vibrate they will impulsively looking at it as if they're waiting for urgent call or text!

the most annoying one, is the one whose taking pictures for everything, yes i mean like everything, the table set, the plate, the bottle, the food, the view where they sat ... gosh GET A REAL LIFE GUYS!! in front of you is human being who needs your attention thou .. and that person is more REAL than your smart phones. :)

There's a story, that i heard from one of my friend where he got dumped through smart phone, but there's another story from a friend who got engaged because of the smart phone .. but as for me smart phone is making lots of people being rude to each other. just like when we used a social media without any ethics.

for me smart phones is not good enough to replace the one i care about, especially it can not replace the EXISTENCE of the people around me.

please do respect your REAL PEOPLE around you, put away your smart phones while you are with bunch of people i mean REAL PEOPLE ... if you want to talk with your smart phones better do it in your room instead using it in public!

friend: Sher, can we meet?
me: will you bring your blackberry?
friend: yes... why?
me: then, you can BBM me .. i don't want to sit there by looking at you busy BBM-ing other people rather than talk to me ... :)
friend: what??

sorry, i'm rude. but i made my point :)

.. social media ..

for me to begin 2012 in my 5th day of January ... there's no ethic on social media. Gosh!! Can they stop complaining over social media? do they have any friends, where they can shared all the complains and stories?

they even posted their missing spectacle, bag, shoes, book, etc! they chose to posted over social media rather to find it! wondering, if they posted on the Facebook or Twitter will people on their list helping them to find what they're looking for? or they just want people to know they're missing something "precious" to be posted on their wall or timeline ..

I'm using those things, surely to keep me update with the trend topics and hot gossips. used those social media for my boring time while caught on the traffic (badly). at first not to much people complaining or scolding over the social media but now all i can read is complaining, scolding, or even swearing.

some of them even mentioned some name .. not in a good description. i know these days world is like "screaming out loud" to be seen! i mean, there's no ethics there's no rules! the worst case, some of them used twitter to give an "order" to other people to do their tasks!! how rude!! do they know the other technology called cell phone, emails or messenger (whatsapp, blackberry messenger, ping chat, etc) or was it to show the level of power that one person has over the other person? Man!! show some respect for other, dude!

no manner if i may say about these social network or media name it! do they even think before they write anything? some of the words is really hurtful ... cynical, sarcastic or even under-estimate statement as if that person is the only person whose has the "perfect" point of view. *sigh*

from this social media i can read people's mood. sadness, disappointment, getting hurt, heart broken, fall in love, rejected, etc. what can i assume and wonder ... if they get hurt, heart broken or being rejected would be better if they shared it to someone they trust? i mean like bestie, close friends, siblings or parents (perhaps) instead of their making an announcement "yes, i'm broken!" .. "someone just broke my heart!" .. or "un-answered hopes" i mean does it sound like desperate? or they don't have anyone to trust? -- or am i get it wrong?

i understand people has their own definition for what people call SOCIAL MEDIA or NETWORK .. and i have mine!

.. all over again ..

sometime i think our life can seem like it's not moving, even though it keep on drifting and takes all our time and effort for things we want to achieve.
I know sometimes life itself could fall apart because of disappointments, the hurt, the lies and the un-answer hopes.
Well, everybody will have their own beginning for everything right? and they have their will to change isn't it?

actually, i can climb the highest mountain, and no one can hold me back! Sometimes, i just caught up in a crazy life that i took, so much for granted that i can't see what i have, and i knew it!
i'm pushing myself through the hardest time, because i believe i will find my way and start all over again ...
in time i know i'll find people around me who will change while times keeps on moving. friends fading away, but i'm not alone because i'm putting my trust in myself!
giving my very best, do what it takes to all i have.

moving forward, step on the next journey in 2012!

.. 1st letter in 2012 ..

Dear anonymous,

I've gone back and forth the last few days trying to decide whether or not I should even write this. In the end, I realized I would regret it if I didn't, so here it goes. I know the last time we saw each other, we weren't exactly hitting the sweetest notes-certain wasn't the way I wanted the dinner to end. I suppose I'm responsible and for that, I'm sorry. But in all honestly, if I had the chance, I'd do it again. I owe that to you. There's no way I can repay you for another dinner or lunch in some other time. You once said you're "rare". Well, that's true-you're certainly not like everyone else, but everyone is everyone. My parents always says our lives are streams flowing into the same river towards whatever heaven lies in the mist beyond the falls. Find the joy in your life, anonymous . My dear friend, close your eyes and let the waters take you home.

rgs,
un-named!