.. selfishly ..

.. dapat mainan baru itu rasanya excited banget! ketemu orang baru, dengan karakter baru. Another observation time .. not to read about their character but more into challenge my capability in adapting with people.
Honestly i find myself a bit hard to adjust to new people. Somehow, between my brain and my mouth they will act differently. Jadi sebagian orang melihat gw seperti orang yang skeptis or sarcastic .. well, none of people that knows me told me that I'm judes sih .. they said i'm more into harsh using my words.

*sigh* actually i didn't have any intention to use those words or throw that things to people, i'm just trying to be me! I mean i say what i want it to say .. i'm not good in faking and i can't use any sweet words to please people .. as matter of fact i can't please people .. i can't even please my parents, so how can i please people?

I treat people the same way i treat my family .. well, if my family got special service from me, i have blood connection with them. I've been tied to them 'till death (do us part) .. Karena perlakuan ini gw terapin dari semenjak gw kecil, how i treat people is been there all along. I mean this is me, this is who I am .. nothing change. Well, i make some adjustment along the way (since, i'm getting older right?) try to be more mature and wiser to all my actions.

Hipotesa yang bisa gw tarik adalah, actions do reflect to who you are! dan those attitude can't hide from which level you're coming from .. dan itu beneran tercermin dari how people treat you and who you are in the past .. jadi misalnya waktu dulu jaman sekolah (SD, SMP, SMA sampe kuliah) kalian di treat as if you're no body ... than you will become a**hole in the present. Karena you're looking for an acceptance that "NOW, I'm somebody!" oh well, if in the past you're no body and you're become a bitch in the future .. for me those people still NO ONE!! karena buat gw, if you have problem with your attitude meaning you're a mess in the future .. as simple as that.

I've been raised well enough by my parents, have lots of learning from them. life experience and also self healing from them. They taught me to be a person with attitude and manner, they never stop remind me to be a better person for people ...

So, in all for me is better to be who am i in front of people rather than to be somebody that i'm to please people.

for me .. personal ambition or personal existence it has nothing to do with other people. that's your problem with yourself .. not with other. to achieve your personal ambition and existence you don't need to hurt people especially if that person is your friend! it just rude ...  i mean, i couldn't even think how can you hurt your own friend?? eehhmm ...