.. maturity ..

I've learned that I can not make someone loves me. All I can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned no matter how much I care, some people are just asshole.

I've learned that it takes years, to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof to destroy it.
I've learn that I can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that I shouldn't compare myself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that I can keep vomiting long after I think I'm finished.

I've learned that I am responsible for what I do, unless I am celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in my house, one of my nieces or nephews did it.
I've learned that people I care most about in life are taken to soon from my life to soon and all the less important ones just never go away ...

.. andai dia tahu ..

... Kejujuran itu seperti es krim, kalau tidak di lahap bakalan cepet meleleh hilang di telan hawa panas. Bisep di tangan itu kan otot fisik, nah kejujuran itu otot mental dan otot harus di latih terus biar kuat. Untuk hari ini latihan kejujuran gw, adalah jujur pada diri sendiri. Gue takut, takut kalau intuisi gw mengenai banyak hal salah. Gw takut, takut ketika gw bangun besok matahari gak terbit di timur, atau gimana kalau gw bangun besok dan tau kalau ternyata hati bisa salah ..

.. trustworthy ..

... I don't know rather he fall with my life, but I decided to give myself a chance to be. Maybe true love is a decision, a decision to take a chance with somebody, giving to somebody without worrying rather that somebody will give anything in return, or their going to hurt me, or if they really are the one. Perhaps love is something that I have to choose ...

And I choose to fall with his life.

..take a bow..

.. I just believe in something for what behind of them own, as my hope in love. Is never to late too much, to notice the one that is important in my life and to struggle for that, even I don't know what to fight for. I do believe everyday in my life can be a miracle ..

.. catching on ..

Kalau engkau terperangkap olehnya, cinta itu menjadi kematian bagimu. Cinta bagai misteri, datang dan pergi tanpa permisi. Anda tak perlu mencarinya karena cinta akan datang dengan sendiri. Anda tak dapat membelinya karena cinta tak dapat dihargai.

Cinta akan lahir dengan sendirinya tanpa kita ketahui kapan, dan tanpa kita ketahui kepada siapa. Jika suatu hari pasangan Anda mengatakan " Aku tak mencintaimu lagi. " Let it go. Biarkan berlalu karena cinta tak dapat dipaksakan. Jika dipaksakan cinta tersebut layaknya sebuah bom waktu, yang akan meledak menjadi kebencian. Let it go.

Cinta akan datang kembali kepada Anda suatu waktu, mungkin dari orang yang pernah Anda cintai atau dari seseorang lainnya, Tuhan tak akan membiarkan Anda sendirian.

Lalu bagaimana dengan perasaan Anda yang ditinggalkan cinta?
Simpanlah dalam-dalam cinta tersebut. Kenanglah sebagai bagian dari masa lalu.
Menangislah jika perlu. Berbahagialah karena Anda pernah dicintai, berbahagia karena cinta pernah singgah di hati Anda.

Bagaimana jika cinta hilang dalam sebuah perkawinan?
Dalam suatu perkawinan cinta adalah cinta yang harus dipertanggungjawabkan, kepada Tuhan dan kepada suami atau istri dan kepada anak ( jika ada ). Anda tak dapat pergi begitu saja dengan mengatakan " Aku tak mencintai kamu lagi." Dalam sebuah perkawinan " Anda " adalah dua yang menjadi satu. " Anda " adalah suami/istri dan anda sendiri. Jangan turuti kemauan anda tapi turuti kemauan "Anda". Bagi Anda yang mencintai, ubahlah makna cinta menjadi KASIH.

Cinta itu bersemayam di dalam hati ( bukan di otak atau pikiran ), jika hati anda penuh dengan kasih, cinta tak akan pernah hilang dari diri Anda.

Kasih itu indah
kasih tidak cemburu
kasih itu menerima apa adanya dan memberi yang ada
kasih itu komitmen sehingga seseorang yang mempunyai kasih tak akan melupakan cintanya
kasih itu murah hati bukan murah cinta ( dalam hubungan asmara )
kasih itu rendah hati bukan merendahkan cinta
kasih itu mengampuni dan memaafkan
kasih adalah cinta sejati karena berasal dari Tuhan.
Tanamkan kasih di dalam hati Anda sejak awal maka cinta Anda tak akan hilang.

Tanamkan kasih maka Anda akan bertahan jika kekasih Anda mengatakan, " Aku tak mencintaimu lagi. " ( Berat memang, apalagi jika kita masih mengasihi dia ).

Jika Anda dan pasangan Anda memiliki kasih, Anda berdua boleh berujar :
" Orang ke tiga ? Siapa takuttt..... ......... .."

Sebab ada tiga hal yang terpenting dalam hidup ini yaitu iman, pengharapan dan kasih dan yang terbesar diantaranya adalah kasih.

(taken from id: clampgirl_sakura@yahoo.com)

.. the truth ..

Sebetulnya kalo sekilas emang rasanya quote di bawah ini gak begitu penting bagi sebagian orang yang urat malunya udah gak ada dalam diri mereka ya .. Kadang orang yang tahu benar letak kesalahan mereka, akan terus mengaktifkan control denial mode. Mencoba mencari pembelaan diri mengenai kesalahan yang ada, karena mereka tidak mempunyai jiwa besar untuk mengakuinya..

Quote ini beneran "dalem" banget kalo mau di baca dan di refleksikan kepada diri sendiri sebetulnya (tentunya bagi orang yang merasa kemaluannya sudah berkurang ya). Gw ambil dari salah satu blog teman gw

"jangan keras-keras kalau ngomongin betapa merananya hidup orang lain....ujung2nya, orang jadi bisa liat bahwa ternyata hidup kita sendiri yang menderita"

Karena emang gw sih melihat ya, bahwa ternyata kebanyakan orang-orang yang banyak curhat sana curhat sini, fitnah sana fitnah sini, faking their own stories, biasanya emang secara mental mereka akan lebih menderita sih, tidak terlihat memang, tp we will never know what might happened in their room when they're alone kan? Either meratapi dirinya yang tidak bisa menjadi diri sendiri, atau bahkan sedang menyiapkan skenario lainnya untuk bisa menutupi kebohongan yang hari ini ...

Terus ini ada lagi nih... Quote yang gw ambil dari blog teman gw juga ...

"Do not try so hard to let people know that you are a good person. If you really are a good person, eventually people will figure that out by themselves"

Karena memang banyak juga sih orang yang "faking" diri mereka di depan orang-orang untuk bisa menutupi kebusukan yang mereka punyai di dalam sih, ya karena yang mereka cari adalah teman-teman yang bisa di "tipu" dengan keberadaan another personalities yang ada.

* lucky me I don't have to fake myself to get anyone attention, I love being me, and proud to be who I am. I don't have to tell any lies to people to get their attention or respect and I don't need any faking stories to look good in front of people*

.. into the wild ..

Film ini gw tonton marathon dengan DVD My Blueberry Nights yang di pinjamin sama Dwita, menurut dia "You must seen the movies, you will like it." Dan ketika gw nonton DVD pertama itu, gw sms dia lagi "I really enjoying the movie, thank you for your reference ya..." lalu, gw sempat beranjak sebentar dan membuat hiburan sendiri ya nonton Sinetron yang sudah lama tidak ku sentuh, karena boring dengan jalan cerita sinetron yang itu-itu saja, akhirnya gw nonton film kedua yang di berikan oleh Dwita itu....

Beberapa quotes yang gw ambil dari film ini, which is magnificent and give me lots of encouragement in life especially for my own sake ya...

Christopher McCandless: I read somewhere... how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong... but to feel strong.

Christopher McCandless: Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth.

Christopher McCandless: Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.

Christopher McCandless: If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed.

Christopher McCandless: The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences.

Christopher McCandless: What if I were smiling and running into your arms? Would you see then what I see now?

Ron Franz: When you forgive, you love. And when you love, God's light shines upon you.

Christopher McCandless: When you want something in life, you just gotta reach out and grab it.

Christopher McCandless: Happiness only real when shared.

Christopher McCandless: You know, about getting out of this sick society. Society!

Christopher McCandless: Society, man! You know, society! Cause, you know what I don't understand? I don't understand why people, why every fucking person is so bad to each other so fucking often. It doesn't make sense to me. Judgment. Control. All that, the whole spectrum. Well, it just...
Wayne Westerberg: What "people" we talking about?
Christopher McCandless: You know, parents, hypocrites, politicians, pricks.
Wayne Westerberg: This is a mistake. It's a mistake to get too deep into all that kind of stuff. Alex, you're a hell of a young guy, a hell of a young guy. But I promise you this. You're a young guy! Can't be juggling blood and fire all the time!

Christopher McCandless: You don't need human relationships to be happy, God has placed it all around us.

Lot's of things that we shoud re-think about the quotes above..WOW!!!! It was a great movie after all!!

..my blueberry nights..

Elizabeth: So what's wrong with the Blueberry Pie?
Jeremy: There's nothing wrong with the Blueberry Pie, just people make other choices. You can't blame the Blueberry Pie, it's just... no one wants it.
Elizabeth: Wait! I want a piece.
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Elizabeth: [wiping her tears] How do you say goodbye to someone you can't imagine living without? I didn't say goodbye.
[pause]
Elizabeth: I didn't say anything. I just walked away.
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[last lines]
Elizabeth: It took me nearly a year to get here. It wasn't so hard to cross that street after all, it all depends on who's waiting for you on the other side.
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Katya: Sometimes, even if you have the keys those doors still can't be opened. Can they?
Jeremy: Even if the door is open, the person you're looking for may not be there, Katya.
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Jeremy: A few years ago, I had a dream. It began in the summer and was over by the following spring. In between, there were as many unhappy nights as there were happy days. Most of them took place in this café. And then one night, a door slammed and the dream was over.
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..comment..

"lots of men treat us special, but a second later we're nobody to him.... act like they don't wanna let go of us, but don't wanna be attached to us too. lots of men don't wanna loose his 'fans' and loose the attention. lots of men choose to stay in their safe zone.... and their safest zone turns out to be what we called grey area... between yes and no, between stay and go, between dead and grow... loving then leaving... saying something then doing nothing... giving it up but keep trying... this kind of "love" that promising but has no aim, comforting but has no point... AND HE'LL KEEP DOING THIS... COMING AND COMING FOR YOU JUST FOR MAKING THE EMPTINESS STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN..."

komentar diatas gw dapat dari salah satu blog teman gw, dari temannya yang juga seorang penulis. Untuk bahasan mengenai the decision of leaving the guy that she had crush on ... she's willing to let all the feeling gone based on her sudden feeling when they were together. Is just like "sound from your heart" that telling you to let go... She said, she heard something telling her "He's not right, he's not the person that you want to be with at the end."

Well...at least she has the strength to listen to her own voice in her heart instead of keeping herself stagnant in a position that she can even imagine what would it be when I move on ...

Banyak sekarang emang cowok-cowok yang suka memberikan amunisinya untuk bisa "menjebak" para wanita dengan perhatian dan sanjungan yang suatu saat akan hilang. Seperti beberapa waktu lalu gw membicarakan topik ini sama salah satu teman gw yang lagi dekat dengan seorang lelaki. Baru kenal sih mereka...sebelumnya (katanya) mereka tetanggaan. Tapi ya lelaki itu sangat "manis dan mendayu-dayu" kalo bahasa gw sih bilangnya...Kalo SMS maupun nelepon ya manis gitu deh...dan (mungkin) lelaki itu ingin mencoba menanamkan suatu "kebiasaan" di hari-hari teman gw itu untuk hal tersebut, hingga suatu saat jika lelaki itu menghilang teman gw akan mencari dan memulai kebiasaan itu dari pihak teman gw...

Ya gw berharap semoga teman-teman wanita gw dan lelaki-lelaki yang ada di dekatnya, bisa jujur terhadap diri sendiri, tidak membohongi orang lain dan diri sendiri, bangga dengan diri sendiri dan tidak memfitnah orang untuk suatu pembenaran diri yang sebetulnya tidak perlu di benarkan.

Intinya, boleh kita membela perasaan kita, tapi tidak untuk menyakiti, merugikan dan memfitnah orang lain!


* Thank you for the good comment from Titien (thank you to Dwita who shared it with me)