.. forbearance ..

.. don't know how to say this. i'm a bit surprised on how i handle my temper now a days. i used to be an impulsive person with words, i never have second thought of saying the things that i wanted to say. i don't even give any thought about how people might feel toward my words.

take a deep breathe, in hale exhale. i shall pass this anger inside me. no need to give any harsh words nor offended words from my mouth. even though i really need to relieve all the emotion inside me, all the nasty words already inside my head ready to blow, but i remembered what my parents told me .. let people hurt you with their words, but never tempted to hurt people by your words. let people hurt you with their action, but never make any action that could hurt other people. remember what goes around comes around, if it might hurt you then don't consider to do it to other.

even i'm loosing my patience toward anyone or someone around me, i have my own way to calm myself down. i'm not good in words, i'm not good in gesture and also i don't make any good body gesture to people. that's why i often enjoying myself with my own thought with my own interest. not allowing anyone to know that i'm enjoying my moment .. i can be ignorance and less considerate sometimes, is how i avoid any confrontation and rage inside of me.

i know my limit, if i hate people i can hate that people with no reasons, and i don't like it when i have that hate inside of me to someone. with those bad words, and words behind my back i take it as a compliments to myself that i still have people around me that care, they spare their time to talk about me instead talking over something that is more important than me. i manage to get into their head and be their attention.

God bless me for being a person that people hate and love .. they hate me but they still talking about me behind my back .. is the feeling when you're become a celebrity :)