.. me ..

Yesterday someone told me:

You are a motherly person. You need extra effort to find your match. Kalau elo dapet lelaki itu biasa-biasa aja, bakal abis elo libas. Kalau dia hebat, dia akan semakin hebat lagi karena elo.

Analoginya : Just like a mother who likes to taking care of everything, every little thing. You build them from nothing to something, you give your ears to listen to every stories and grumbles, after they succeed some of them may forget about you, but you never mentioned it. You do it because you care, because you know good people will always bring good will in your life.

Tapi kadang loe lupa, menjadi seorang "mother" kadang bisa sangat menyakitkan jika loe tahu bahwa perhatian itu tak pernah terlihat nyata ... Nyata menurut loe, tapi bukan bagi orang yang loe sayang ... Loe akan sakit, loe akan kecewa dan jatuh terpuruk.

Ikhlas dan Pasrah mungkin adalah salah satu jalan yang bakal di ambil, tapi tidak dengan ikhlas kekecewaan loe akan hilang. Rasa gak bisa di duga datangnya, kecewa bisa terlihat dan terasa, tapi jika perasaan itu sudah ada...gak ada yang sanggup utk bisa melepaskan kerelaannya. Sakit akan terus menghantui jika kekecewaan itu tetapi terpatri di hati.

Jika ingin kecewa itu pergi, ikhlaskan hati, pasrahkan perhatian loe untuk diri loe sendiri. Sometime what you need is only your own time for yourself, you never taking any moment for your self. You're to busy taking care other people, you put lots of effort to make people happy especially the one you care ... but ...

You often forget how to make yourself happy, trust me people will happy to see you happy; As they see you smiling and laughing every time you always around for them no matter what.

(Lily Fadlyani - Dec, 2008)

.. deepest thoughts ..

Him: Come on. Tell me. Where have you been?
Me: I've been trying to forget you and forgive you.
Him: Did you succeed?
Me: No.

Me: It's not meant to be.
Him: No, don't say that. Something must've happened.

Me: One man I can never meet. You, I would like to give my whole heart to.
Him: I sometimes feel as if I'm invisible, as if no one can see me at all.

Me: Let me let you go.
Him: Don't give up on me.

Me: I waited.

.. single ..

If you ain't got no money
If you're independent, get your money, boy

Deticate man, my favorite song
Single men, you can't go wrong

If you came here by yourself tonight,
Cause he wouldn't pick up the phone
He was supposed to bring you here tonight
Couldn't find him, so you came alone

It don't matter cause you're here now
And the music you're enjoying
So for the next couple minutes,
Perhaps, I can be your boyfriend

If you're single,
Single... you don't gotta be alone tonight
Single... just pretend that i'm your man tonight

Said, you ain't gotta be alone
I'll be your boyfriend

He don't tell you that you're beautiful
Let me tell it to you to the beat
He don't tell you that he loves you
Let me sing it in a harmony

Let my song get you higher (higher...)
Cause we don't ever have to come back down
if you should miss me

.. just pretend even though the situation is not the same, you'd be bother with many voices. Just pretend ..

.. cry ..

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
'cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Never got the whole in love thing

My mind is gone, I'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening
I stray from love, this is how I feel
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When I heard about it ... is like a thunder happened in day light!
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

'cause it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe 'cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
I should've never let you hold me
I didn't give to you on purpose
Can't figure out how you stole my heart

How did I get here with you, I'll never know?
I never meant to let it get so, personal
After all I tried to do, stay away from loving you
I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry

All my life...

.. i'm done ..

I wasn't looking for this
What is this
I don't know
You know I was doing just fine
By myself
On my own
Tell me how to stop this feeling

I don't want to fall in love
Just want to have a little fun
Then you came and swept me up and now I'm done so done
Falling madly deeply I
Surprise myself enough to find
That what's become this love and now I'm done so done, I'm done

I can't imagine right now
Standing here, without you
To think that I tried to ignore
What I felt, what I knew
I could never, stop this feeling

Thank you for not letting go
When I said
Let me go
Thank you for timing, thank you for finding
Thank you for not believing me baby when I said

I wasn't looking for this, and now I'm done, I'm done.