.. gotta a feeling ..

"If you feel that you're not smart, please don't act that you're smarter."

I hate the way that person act smart in front of me, the fact is that person is not even smarter than me! Dhoooaaaahhh!!

I've been keeping this feeling, this thought about this person. The truth is this person already disappoint me in some way. I never make big deal of it, I tried to cope with it, as what my parents often told me I'm the one who should be more flexible for everyone else.

If I feel threatened and not comfortable, it's ok for me to walk out and asked myself the things that I learn from this person. I'm tired of this person .. I'm not a person who likes to share about everything, something I keep it for me, for myself. Not every detail of my life is belong to everyone.

I'm not smart, but I do learn something from every dumb witness that happened in my life. I'm not competing with anyone to reach certain point. I'm getting used to be a center of attention, I have lots of attention from my family why would I care for an attention for everyone else? I don't give a damn shit! I listen to the things that I want to listen, I talk for certain things that is worth to talk too.

Why bother? If some people make some stories in their life, doesn't mean I have to own some stories to steal their thunder right? I'm what I am, with or without story people are fine with me! I don't bother ...

I'm not exposing myself, because I'm tired being exposed! It's time for myself to enjoy the entire me! I'm done with all exposing things, I tried to pull myself out from the center of everything ... because it's time for me to have more quality time for myself, with my family especially with my parents.

So stop bugging me with the thunder steal stories! I won't care .. because I know you're not smarter than me or anyone else! So stop faking it, stop being smart!!!!

.. deep thought ..

"I think I’m afraid to be happy because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens"

.. simply the best ..

No matter how frightened and discouraged I may become about the future, I look forward to it. In spite of everything I see all around me every day, I have a shaky assurance that everything will turn out fine; and I don’t think I’m the only one. Why else would the phrase “Everything is alright” ease a troubled place in so many of us? We just don’t know, we never know, yet we have so much faith. We hold our hands over our hurts and lean forward. It is how we keep on, this kind of hope.

When things go wrong, you’ll find they usually go on getting worse for some time; but when things once start going right they often go on getting better and better -- The Chronicles of Narnia

.. ordinary boy ..

Just a day,
Just an ordinary day.
Just trying to get by.
Just a boy,
Just an ordinary boy.
But he was looking to the sky.
And as he asked if I would come along
I started to realize
That everyday he finds
Just what he's looking for,
Like a shooting star he shines.

And He said take my hand,
Live while you can
Don't you feel your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand

And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words
Although they did not feel
For I felt what I had not felt before
And you'd swear those words couldn't heal.
And as I looked up into those eyes
His vision borrows mine.
And I know he's no stranger,
For I feel I've held him for all of time.

Please come with me,
See what I see.
Touch the stars for time will not flee.
Time will not flee.
Can you see?

Just a dream, just an ordinary dream.
As I wake in bed
And the boy, that ordinary boy
Or was it all in my head?
Did he asked if I would come along
It all seemed so real.
But as I looked to the door,
I saw that boy standing there with a deal.

Just a day, just an ordinary day
Just trying to get by.
Just a boy,
Just an ordinary boy.
But he was looking to the sky.

-- Ordinary Day-Vanessa Carlton --