.. truth ..

Dear Diary,

Today I’ve convinced myself it’s ok to give up. Don’t take risks. Stick with the status quo, no drama, now is just, not the time. But my reasons aren’t reasons they’re excuses. All I’m doing is hiding from the truth, and the truth is that I’m scared. I’m scared that if I let myself be happy for even one moment, that the world is going to come crashing down and I don’t know if I can survive that.

- me -

.. I'll Take You There ..

"Solitude brought out the worst in me. It gave me time to brood over the nature of things. I wondered how some people could be such a necessary part of one's life one day, and simply vanish the next. Isn't it supposed to last?
We ran into each other at graduation. We had lunch about a year after that. It was nice to see them, but it wasn't like the old days. My college experience wasn't what I had planned. It bore no resemblance to the pictures in the brochure.
But I'm not unhappy; I don't think any of us are. We got what we needed out of it.
It's kind of like going on a vacation - you plan everything out but one day you make a wrong turn or take a detour, and you end up in some crazy place you can never find on the map, doing something you never thought you'd do. Maybe you feel a little lost while it's happening. But, later, you realize it was the best part of the whole trip.."
(Eddie - Threesome movie 1994)

.. simple ..

“It seems like it’s all just remembering and forgetting. Things happen so fast, and then they’re gone before you notice them. Events ambush you from out of nowhere, blindside you, and then you have to spend the time afterward trying to remember or forget what the hell it all was to begin with. The more you think about it, the more the events crumble, crack, breakdown, or refuse to change at all. They’re either pieces of ice in your hand, changing shape and melting away until they’re nothing like what they were to begin with, or pieces of glass. Sharp and irritating, unchanging reminders of pain and unpleasantness - or happiness.”
(Gregory Galloway)

.. distance ..

"Sometimes, you have to be apart from people you love. But that doesn’t mean you love them any less. Sometimes it even makes you love them more"

Because what I have in mind when I first met him, I knew in a moment I would have to spend the next few days re-arranging my mind so there’d be room for him to stay.

.. marriage ..

I don’t want to be married just to be married. I can’t think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone I can’t talk to, or worse, someone I can’t be silent with.

.. lies ..

"That’s the problem with us. We’re both stubborn asses and always want to get our way. We both hate to be wrong and love to be right. But that’s the thing about love. No matter what happens, we always come back for each other, one more time"

.. be reminded ..

“It is better to be alone, I figures, than to be with someone who can’t see who I am. It is better to lead than to follow. It is better to speak up than stay silent. It is better to open doors than to shut them on people.”

Perhaps, most people will say that I'm very harsh on everything. Blunt in someway, straight forward to anything that bother me. If I don't feel comfortable without saying it, my face will tell everything.

It remind me of someone, that always makes me smile even a little, or even laugh hard. By looking at him, I will smile and giggles for a while. All he's gotta do is sit beside me, and looking at the sky with me near the soccer field in campus. He would walk with me in silence for 15km and I still can smile and laugh in silence for both of us.

I miss the silence that still can talk inside our heart, I miss the sincerity of this person.