.. barmy ..

“For every action, there was an opposite reaction. But maybe you could undo your wrongs by keeping someone else from making the same mistakes of misjudgement.”

but, what if the disappointment come from someone that you rely on. it hurt ... (of course), it seems that everything we did will always be people echo. I did this, that people did it too, I want this, that people want it too, I talked about this, that people tried to have the same topic as mine...What in world this people think, don't they have their own to share? Don't they have some creativity to create new thing rather than copying mine?

I ain't special, I'm just normal human being that always makes mistakes not one or two but MANY!! and by then I realize, well I feel thou not realize .. to harsh for me to say "realize" for this matters... I feel that this people is "using" me, somehow that feeling pop up! That's makes me disappoint. I know ... I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I can't help it!

I'm tired, I had enough to all of this! I hate too echoing with what other people do. I have my own and I love my own!I ain't follower. I am what I am not what people might think about me!

That's why please stop making me your center of everything I ain't no good at all! I'm only good for myself.. for me! Not for everyone to look up too...

.. shadow ..

"Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe."

I won't bother if people has secrets, but I'd feel annoyed if people try to get in to my secrets!
I never talked so much about myself, or some stories I keep it for myself (well, I do shared most of them with my mom and my sisters thou) it safer for me instead of sharing it with someone else.

Some people tend to tell .. it's human. When I told one story to them, they might tell it to anyone they close too. As for me I never let my stories to be public consumption. I am what I am and that's me!

I really hate when people talked to me "Why don't you tell me?" then I'm asking to myself why would I care to tell you about this? Is it an obligation for me to tell everyone for every stories I have? I don't even update my status on my Facebook because I won't let everyone knows about my mood and my feeling ... It safe for me if I keep it for myself.

.. pyramid ..

Sometimes you have to test someone. Not cause you don’t trust them, but to see how much they’ll sacrifice for you. And sometimes you have to let them go; not cause you suddenly stopped loving them, but to see if they love you enough to come back.

.. gotta a feeling ..

"If you feel that you're not smart, please don't act that you're smarter."

I hate the way that person act smart in front of me, the fact is that person is not even smarter than me! Dhoooaaaahhh!!

I've been keeping this feeling, this thought about this person. The truth is this person already disappoint me in some way. I never make big deal of it, I tried to cope with it, as what my parents often told me I'm the one who should be more flexible for everyone else.

If I feel threatened and not comfortable, it's ok for me to walk out and asked myself the things that I learn from this person. I'm tired of this person .. I'm not a person who likes to share about everything, something I keep it for me, for myself. Not every detail of my life is belong to everyone.

I'm not smart, but I do learn something from every dumb witness that happened in my life. I'm not competing with anyone to reach certain point. I'm getting used to be a center of attention, I have lots of attention from my family why would I care for an attention for everyone else? I don't give a damn shit! I listen to the things that I want to listen, I talk for certain things that is worth to talk too.

Why bother? If some people make some stories in their life, doesn't mean I have to own some stories to steal their thunder right? I'm what I am, with or without story people are fine with me! I don't bother ...

I'm not exposing myself, because I'm tired being exposed! It's time for myself to enjoy the entire me! I'm done with all exposing things, I tried to pull myself out from the center of everything ... because it's time for me to have more quality time for myself, with my family especially with my parents.

So stop bugging me with the thunder steal stories! I won't care .. because I know you're not smarter than me or anyone else! So stop faking it, stop being smart!!!!

.. deep thought ..

"I think I’m afraid to be happy because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens"