.. ascertain ..

I’ve learned a lot this year.. I learned that things don’t always turn out the way I planned, or the way I think they should. And I’ve learned that there are things that go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I’ve learned that some broken things stay broken, and I’ve learned that I can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as I have people who love me.

I've learned that some friends sometime will turn out to "use" me for their sake, without considering how I feel and how it will effect my feeling.

“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” - Dalai Lama -

So, based on what I've learned .. I can conclude that I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.

.. talk to me ..

A word that come up from my mind "Love yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things" I heard this words, but I can't remember who said it. But is true thou. Everything that happened in our live, will based on what we did, what we gave and what we wish for.

If we can't accept who we are, forgive every mistakes that we did and can't love ourself how can God knows what's good from us in front of God, doesn't it? God create us with purposed, God have it's own plan toward our lives, of course God always have a good reasons for everything that happened in our lives. If we can't be graceful how can God be good to us?

.. truth ..

Dear Diary,

Today I’ve convinced myself it’s ok to give up. Don’t take risks. Stick with the status quo, no drama, now is just, not the time. But my reasons aren’t reasons they’re excuses. All I’m doing is hiding from the truth, and the truth is that I’m scared. I’m scared that if I let myself be happy for even one moment, that the world is going to come crashing down and I don’t know if I can survive that.

- me -

.. I'll Take You There ..

"Solitude brought out the worst in me. It gave me time to brood over the nature of things. I wondered how some people could be such a necessary part of one's life one day, and simply vanish the next. Isn't it supposed to last?
We ran into each other at graduation. We had lunch about a year after that. It was nice to see them, but it wasn't like the old days. My college experience wasn't what I had planned. It bore no resemblance to the pictures in the brochure.
But I'm not unhappy; I don't think any of us are. We got what we needed out of it.
It's kind of like going on a vacation - you plan everything out but one day you make a wrong turn or take a detour, and you end up in some crazy place you can never find on the map, doing something you never thought you'd do. Maybe you feel a little lost while it's happening. But, later, you realize it was the best part of the whole trip.."
(Eddie - Threesome movie 1994)

.. simple ..

“It seems like it’s all just remembering and forgetting. Things happen so fast, and then they’re gone before you notice them. Events ambush you from out of nowhere, blindside you, and then you have to spend the time afterward trying to remember or forget what the hell it all was to begin with. The more you think about it, the more the events crumble, crack, breakdown, or refuse to change at all. They’re either pieces of ice in your hand, changing shape and melting away until they’re nothing like what they were to begin with, or pieces of glass. Sharp and irritating, unchanging reminders of pain and unpleasantness - or happiness.”
(Gregory Galloway)