.. flexible ..

.. i'm typical person who doesn't like to argue nor confront, but that doesn't mean I'd always agree to what everyone have to say.

but, when somebody can't respect my timing and on how i act i just can't help it!

"mba, kamu patungan 100rb ya untuk kado ****"
"gw gak mau .. gw maunya patungan 70rb."
"gak bisa, karena kamu masuk itungan Director"
"laahh kok gitu, gw gak mau. gw cuma mau kasih 70rb aja. lebih dari itu gw gak ikutan chip-in"
"kok gitu.."
"ya gitu lah .. gw yang nentuin gw mau patungan berapa, not the other way around!"

and she just left! I never make any fuss for any chip-in amount on anything, but this one i just feel pissed "it's been settled" well, i don't take any order from anyone especially when it comes to some amount of money!

is not that i'm stingy or what, for me this chip-in thing is like an obligation and i hate to define that obligation for this one. is not that i'm being un-considerate but the situation and condition made me like this. I never argue or confront but once i dis-agree over something even my words express it well enough.

in hope i don't have to be the person who obligate people around me to chip-in for something that definitely i can afford to own it.

.. shouting ..

.. if you love someone, you tell them. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing. Even if you're scared that it'll cause problems. Even if you're scared that is will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud and you go from there .. 

Mark Sloan - "Remember the Time" 

.. now is not the time ..

.. questions are popping inside my head.

"why push it if you know you can't?"
"why you need to own it, if you know you can't afford it?"
"why you need others to look up at you, when you know that's not you?"
"how can you live your life like that, those mortgage is killing your bills!"
"how did you manage your monthly expense with your current expenses?"
"...etc.."

I might not in a right position to judge them, because i've never been in their shoes, i don't know exactly how it feel to be like them.

how to manage the expenses? that's the biggest question from me to them

.. a case of me ..

.. a success is a myth. Love's the only true currency. After all this is done, all that really matters is how and who you loved ..

I don't even know .. what do i see in me? what's to say i won't just take off and leave whenever i want? that is kind of philosophy, right? When life gives me something better .. i just ... i take off! I'm waiting around till' something better comes along.

I just wait.

.. peer pressure ..

.. "don't feel stupid if you don't like what everyone else pretends to love" ..

why should i feel stupid, if i don't like it. why should i feel left behind if i know i already set my own standard. I never even bother what people like or what people hate, i have my own judgement over something .. i have my own perspective.

I'm not looking for any spot in the crowd, i'm outstanding just the way i am, no need to shout to be seen no need to scream to let people know that you're existed. i have my own value i have my own character. i never push anyone to make friend with me, and i never force people to like me. because i won't let anyone to force me to make friends with person that i don't like.

why fake it if you can be yourself in front of everybody, i know how to be flexible and i know how to compromise. don't teach me to socialise and don't teach me to be friendly.

i'm making my point with my own way!

JUST BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M ON THE WRONG SIDE! I TRIED TO AVOID ANY MAINSTREAM SIDE