.. beautiful liar ..

Nobody likes being played

I know things about 'em that you wouldn't wanna read about
Beautiful Liar, tell me how you tolerate the things that you just found out about

You never know why are we the ones who suffer
I have to let go he won't be the one to cry

Let's not kill the karma
Let's not start a fight
It's not worth the drama
For a beautiful liar
Can't we laugh about it
It's not worth our time
We can live without 'em
Just a beautiful liar

I trusted him, but when I followed you, I saw you together I didn't know about you then 'till I saw you with her
I walked in on your love scene, slow dancing
You stole everything, how can you say I did you wrong .. how come?

You never know when the pain and heartbreak's over
I have to let go the innocence is gone

Tell me how to forgive you when it's me who's ashamed and I wish could free you
Of the hurt and the pain; But the answer is simple he's the one to blame

(Beyonce Knowles)

.. single ladies ..

I'm in this fight and I'm swinging and my arms are getting tired
I'm trying to beat this emptiness but I'm running out of time
I'm sinking in the sand and I can't barely stand
I'm lost in this dream
I'm scared of lonely

I try to be patient but I'm hurting deep inside
And I can't keep waiting, I need comfort late at night
And I can't find my way, won't you lead me home?

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream

To wipe away these tears of mine so I hold my pillow tight

I need your break when nobody is around
'Cause I'm tired of this emptiness
I think I'm drowning, I can't be lonely

(Scared of Lonely - Beyonce Knowles)

.. sham ..

" A friend once told me, a relationship without honesty would not enjoy freedom. It would eventually sour. "

" Overcome of your misgiving and you'll experience openness and freedom. "

" There's a broad definition for honesty and lie, it just has to be understood by a single meaning. "

Thing have started changing, but I don't want to think about it. I just want to cherish this moment. Even though friendship is already abandoned by a girl.

.. battlefield ..

Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love and suddenly
It's like a battle-field
One word turns into a
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield
Can't go back now

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
These times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like ...
a battlefield
Why does love always feel like ...
this

Can't swallow our pride,
Neither of us wanna raise that flag
If we can't surrender
then we both gonna lose what we had,
Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
these times when we climb so fast to fall again

I don't wanna fall for it now
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

You better go and get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor

We could pretend that we are friends tonight
And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright
Cause baby we don't have to fight
And I don't want this love to feel like

A battlefield

I never meant to start a war
Don't even know What we're fighting for

.. vicinity ..

" I hate to see you like this. "
" Gw gpp kok, get used with this kind of feeling. "

Sahabat yang selalu ada, dan datang di saat yang emang tepat. Teman kecil yang datang dan pergi, selalu datang di saat gw gak pernah berharap dia akan datang. Lalu, dia akan pergi ketika gw sendiri gak tau kapan dia pamitan.

" Inget gak waktu gw baru putus sama cewek gw? Yang gw impulsively pergi ke Bandung dan pas sampe Cipularang km 55 gw gak bisa nyetir lagi? "
" Iya tuh .. makanya gw setiap lewat cipularang km 55 itu kaya dejavu gitu, yang gw di anterin ke sana itu kan? "
" Padahal waktu itu loe lagi pacaran kan? "
" Hahaha "

Gw tertawa lepas ketika itu, rasanya udah lama banget gw gak bisa tertawa lepas di depan orang-orang. Tertawa bisa gw lakukan, tetapi tidak selepas sekarang.

" You always spare your time for most of your friends. No matter what no matter how, you're always there; your presence is very comforting for all of your friends. "
" No lah .. Gw hanya berusaha menjadi orang baik utk orang yang baik juga dalam hidup gw. You know my motto kan? What goes around comes around. "
" Tapi sekarang ini, kebanyakan orang-orang di sekitar loe memanfaatkan kebaikan yang sudah loe perlihatkan, they abused your kindness. "
" Gw gak merasa di abuse kok, ya kadang kan ekspektasi orang gak bisa kita kendalikan. Is beyond our capacity to control others people mind. "
" Tapi kan setidak orang-orang baru disekitar loe bisa melihat dan bisa membaca, kalo loe bukan type teman yang opportunist. "
" Hahaha " tertawa getir yang keluar dari mulut gw.

Orang ini yang selalu memberikan masukan pedas dan sinis setiap kali dia muncul di depan gw. Sosok ini yang selalu "menampar" gw tanpa di minta, dia yang gak pernah cape "menendang" gw ketika gw sudah malas melangkah, dan "menarik" gw ketika gw tertidur di setiap effort yang gw lakuin di hidup gw.

" Ya kalo orang mau jahat sama gw, ya biarin aja. Artinya emang dari awal dia main sama gw kan udah ada niat jahat? Nah, kalo niatan itu udah ada masa iya bisa gw baca dari awal sih? "
" Ya gak gitu juga, loe harus lebih sensitif melihat sisi opportunist orang dong. Jangan naive melihat segala sesuatu dari kacamata positif. "
" Duuhh.. hidup itu kan ya udah banyak masalah dan konflik, kalo masih harus mikir negatif sama semua yang main sama gw, hidup gw tersiksa banget gak? "
" Gak harus negatif tp waspada sama sekeliling. Loe kadang suka gak bisa ngebaca itu. "
" Ya kan dari sekian banyak orang yang main sama gw, paling hanya satu dua orang yang opportunist kan? Nah, ntaran juga akan keliatan kok mana yang bisa gw keep dan mana yang harus gw ditch dari lingkungan gw kan? "
" Lucky you, you have that sense. "
" Bukan gitu, bukan sixth sense yang gw punya, tp gw yakin Tuhan gak mau gw di kelilingi orang-orang jahat. "
" Agreed! "

As for me .. Good people, bad people they all my friends! I do believe even bad people still got the good in them, because God create Good People not bad people in this world. The things that turned them to be a bad people because of the pressure, experience, and also the incidents that happened in their life!

I'm not blaming anyone who treat me bad, I just keep the pray the good in them will bring them back to be a good people. People do change, so am I!