..my blueberry nights..

Elizabeth: So what's wrong with the Blueberry Pie?
Jeremy: There's nothing wrong with the Blueberry Pie, just people make other choices. You can't blame the Blueberry Pie, it's just... no one wants it.
Elizabeth: Wait! I want a piece.
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Elizabeth: [wiping her tears] How do you say goodbye to someone you can't imagine living without? I didn't say goodbye.
[pause]
Elizabeth: I didn't say anything. I just walked away.
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[last lines]
Elizabeth: It took me nearly a year to get here. It wasn't so hard to cross that street after all, it all depends on who's waiting for you on the other side.
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Katya: Sometimes, even if you have the keys those doors still can't be opened. Can they?
Jeremy: Even if the door is open, the person you're looking for may not be there, Katya.
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Jeremy: A few years ago, I had a dream. It began in the summer and was over by the following spring. In between, there were as many unhappy nights as there were happy days. Most of them took place in this café. And then one night, a door slammed and the dream was over.
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..comment..

"lots of men treat us special, but a second later we're nobody to him.... act like they don't wanna let go of us, but don't wanna be attached to us too. lots of men don't wanna loose his 'fans' and loose the attention. lots of men choose to stay in their safe zone.... and their safest zone turns out to be what we called grey area... between yes and no, between stay and go, between dead and grow... loving then leaving... saying something then doing nothing... giving it up but keep trying... this kind of "love" that promising but has no aim, comforting but has no point... AND HE'LL KEEP DOING THIS... COMING AND COMING FOR YOU JUST FOR MAKING THE EMPTINESS STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN..."

komentar diatas gw dapat dari salah satu blog teman gw, dari temannya yang juga seorang penulis. Untuk bahasan mengenai the decision of leaving the guy that she had crush on ... she's willing to let all the feeling gone based on her sudden feeling when they were together. Is just like "sound from your heart" that telling you to let go... She said, she heard something telling her "He's not right, he's not the person that you want to be with at the end."

Well...at least she has the strength to listen to her own voice in her heart instead of keeping herself stagnant in a position that she can even imagine what would it be when I move on ...

Banyak sekarang emang cowok-cowok yang suka memberikan amunisinya untuk bisa "menjebak" para wanita dengan perhatian dan sanjungan yang suatu saat akan hilang. Seperti beberapa waktu lalu gw membicarakan topik ini sama salah satu teman gw yang lagi dekat dengan seorang lelaki. Baru kenal sih mereka...sebelumnya (katanya) mereka tetanggaan. Tapi ya lelaki itu sangat "manis dan mendayu-dayu" kalo bahasa gw sih bilangnya...Kalo SMS maupun nelepon ya manis gitu deh...dan (mungkin) lelaki itu ingin mencoba menanamkan suatu "kebiasaan" di hari-hari teman gw itu untuk hal tersebut, hingga suatu saat jika lelaki itu menghilang teman gw akan mencari dan memulai kebiasaan itu dari pihak teman gw...

Ya gw berharap semoga teman-teman wanita gw dan lelaki-lelaki yang ada di dekatnya, bisa jujur terhadap diri sendiri, tidak membohongi orang lain dan diri sendiri, bangga dengan diri sendiri dan tidak memfitnah orang untuk suatu pembenaran diri yang sebetulnya tidak perlu di benarkan.

Intinya, boleh kita membela perasaan kita, tapi tidak untuk menyakiti, merugikan dan memfitnah orang lain!


* Thank you for the good comment from Titien (thank you to Dwita who shared it with me)

..broken vow..

Tell me her name I want to know
The way she looks and where you go...
I need to see her face, I need to understand,
Why you and I came to an end...

Tell me again I want to hear,
Who broke my faith in all these years...
Who lays with at night when I'm here all alone,
Remembering when I was your own...

I'll let you go...
I'll let you fly..
Why do I keep on asking why?
I'll let you go...
Now that I've found...
A way to keep somehow,
More than a broken vow...

Tell me the words I never said.
Show me the tears you never shed.
Give me the chance, that one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time?

I close my eyes
And dream of you and I and then I realize
There's more to love than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes

I'd give away my soul to hold you once again
And never this let this moment set

(Lara Fabian - Broken Vows)

..revenge..

Karena makin bertambahnya usia ya...jalan dan ngumpul bareng sama "siblings" (excl. my brother) adalah suatu hal yang susah banget sebetulnya. Karena kan udah pada kerja, udah pada berkeluarga, dan punya kepentingan sendiri-sendiri ..

Dulu waktu kecil kita semua gak ada yang mau di bilang mirip satu sama lain, hahaha....berasa paling kece sendiri semuanya. Sekarang setelah besar, dan punya keluarga gitu...ternyata emang mirip2 yak! hahahaha...tapi biasanya kalo sudah ngumpul bareng2 sama kakak2 gw...ya karena gw paling kecil dan belum punya keluarga sendiri...terpaksa jadi baby sitter exclusive deh buat para cindil2 yang tidak punya dosa itu... but it was fun hang out together with them...

Yang lucu waktu kita ke IKEA, 3 of us, bought the same sandals..with different colors (but I've got the same color with my 2nd sister) huahaha..my in-laws also bought it....of course I bought one of the sandals for my in-laws (my brother wife) ... Maklumlah, karena berasa kan di keluarga besar bokap itu bokap cuma anak tunggal walhasil ya cucunya ortu bokap ya cuma kita ber 4 deh...Kalo sama keluarga nyokap seh..jangan tanya deh ada berapa banyak cucu dan cicit ... BUANYAAKKKK banget!

Tapi biar keluarga besar, keluarga nyokap juga kompak banget...malah kadang suka curhat2an gitu! Padahal waktu kecil itu kita semua jarang banget inep2an...hanya ketemu ya pas lebaran nginep rame2 di Cirebon gitu...pas udah gede2 kita2 malah jadi suka curhat2an gitu...hihihi!

Kalo nyokap bokap mah, jangan di tanya deh apalagi gw, mungkin gw anak durhaka kali yee...karena emang nyokap bokap udah kaya teman aja sih..Semua di ceritain, gak ada yang nggak! Kalo udah sms-an sama nyokap or bokap udah kaya orang chatting, walhasil gw suka protes karena mendingan chatting bukan..GRATIS! Lah kalo sms kan kena Rp. 250,- gw...hahahaha! Nyokap bokap juga kalo udah sms-an kaya orang baru pacaran, semua di ceritain di sms itu...mana panjang amat deh isinya!

Can't wait to have another holiday with my family...actually with my parents sih! Hahaha..karena yang paling memungkinkan untuk plesiran sama bonyok ya cuma gw dong! hahahaha!!

..all at once..

I don't know why, I couldn't get rid of this movie from my fave list of movies...All the quotes, the statement, the plot, the tagline, the synopsis, everything is really encouraging me to be more truthful to my own life..."Que sera...sera" what ever will be, let it be.

The plot of this movie:
Jon wanted to explore things further but Sara wasn't sure their love was meant to be. They decided to test fate by splitting up and seeing if destiny brought them back together... Many years later, having lost each other that night, both are engaged to be married. Still, neither can shake the need to give fate one last chance to reunite them. Near-misses and classic Shakespearean confusion bring the two close to meeting a number of times but fate will have the final word on whether it was meant to be. Well, isn't life should be happy at the end? People always looking for an happy ending for them.

The Taglines:
- Can Once In A Lifetime Happen Twice?
- Sometimes True Love Can Have More Than One Face
- When Love Feels Like Magic, It's called Destiny. When Destiny Has A Sense of Humor, It's Called Serendipity.
- The love of your life could be in line for popcorn

Some Quotes:
Sara: You don't have to understand. You just have to have faith.
Jonathan: Faith in what?
Sara: Destiny

Jonathan: Maybe the absence of signs is a sign.

Dean: [Lying on the grass with Jonathan, outside Sara's house] Maybe we're lying here because you don't wanna be standing somewhere else.

What a movie, wish I have that big faith in my heart for him...I'm guessing he doesn't have any faith on me...so the destiny would never come. So, probably I better letting it go for now...As for the faith that I keep for long time, will be written as "Memoriam of a Faith in my heart"

ps:
Wishing him a very happy and joyful of life, hope his destiny is the one who has faith for him...Deep down inside I miss him, and I want him to be my destiny, but well everything doesn't have to be what always we want it to be ... letting go someone that we really care is the precious feeling ... especially when I can see the love one happy with his own faith and destiny he choose...I always praying for his smile on his face...